Cannot join terraria multiplayer

Any time i open tmod loader, it will do one of three things. Either it wont register that someone has sent me an invite, it will, but wont actually load the game, or it will open the loading bar after the "Join from XYZ" menu, and then it will stop filling the bar. it wont crash, wont freeze, etc. it will literally just sit there and not load. the game is still running while it does this.