(forge 1.20.1) suggestions for client optimizing + login lag?

hi! making lots of progress with modpack (yaay!), and really hoping to be able to start playing it soon with my friends. i'm happy to share whatever info is helpful for suggestions, so please let me know

client: my game seems to run pretty steady at 6-6.5gb (looking at task manager), with 4500 mb allocated memory in curseforge profile, some generic startup flags, and no resource packs/shaders. is that a reasonable level to run at?

client booting: kinda slow with booting up the game, and occasional client side lag. i definitely don't have the mental bandwidth to help all the players with customizing flags since i got cripplingly overwhelmed trying to understand it for my use, but the ones i found seem to help some. i tried fastboot and i think it conflicts with 'better fps-render distance' because it just hangs on the loading screen.

server login/portal lag: the server lags for a sec when anyone logs in, regardless of whether it's their first time. the console message says it's between 4-5k ticks behind, and i'm wondering if this is just normal or if there's some way for me to make it smoother. seems to do the same thing when folks are going through a portal

maybe dumb question, but what is good to set network compression at? i know it defaults to 256, but internet searches have been confusing. what do you guys do?

i have 12 gb ram for the server, using aikar's flags, and probably max players that will be on at any given time would be 5-6, normally more like 2-4
simulation dist is 8, view dist 10

(will likely post a separate question about server optimization fine tuning, that feels like a lot to cram into this one post)

thanks so much for any and all ideas and info! :PixelHeart:
this server has been so amazingly helpful
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