I posted my last e-b
[2024-04-03 01:17:14 AM] : I posted my last e-bomb on reddit and got trashed by "the experts" stating that it was obvious but the post itself has 30 shares!
Has this happened to anyone else ? How do you respond to people who're hating ? Or do I just detach from what they say
1 Reply
[2024-04-03 03:27:09 AM] : I’ve had a similar experience. It was horrible. I stayed away from reddit for a while and then I thought about the people who I had helped and who were grateful for that help. There were more of them over the years than the haters.
[2024-04-03 03:33:00 AM] : I was contemplating staying away for awhile as well.
The annoying part are the folks who keep upvoting the toxic comments. :sweat_smile:
[2024-04-03 03:46:14 AM] : Did I understand it right: They're not saying that you're wrong but they're attacking you for stating something correct that they consider obvious??
[2024-04-03 04:28:01 AM] : Yes! :laughing:
[2024-04-03 05:49:53 AM] : It definitely happens, and depending on the subreddit the people commenting can be outright cruel. It does seems like there is a big mismatch between the lurkers and people commenting in your situation. 30 shares is quite a lot IME.
I do usually engage with negative replies, but if they seem to willfully misunderstanding the post or my replies I usually stop.
In general I find that the title of a submission has a big impact on how people respond. Copying the post title never seems to work well for me. Maybe it's too direct and make me seem like a "know it all", not sure.
I usually try to keep submission titles whimsical and playful. Sometimes ending with a "wdyt?". This seems to tone down most of the sour replies and makes it clear I self-submitted a post.
However that might not work for every subject.
And definitely keep sight on the bigger picture. I find that a lot of nice people source their content from Reddit directly or indirectly via other aggregators. The negative comments might never even get seen by them.
(Sorry this turned into a small novel).
[2024-04-03 06:07:09 AM] : That's a pretty good strategy Willem Schots. I might try to tone it down on the title. Maybe they're a little more sensitive about content being thrown at them. I could try framing the ebomb towards what the community will be receptive towards.
Small novels always welcome! There's a lot to be learned :smile:
[2024-04-03 09:28:14 AM] : In my experience, haters gonna hate and there is nothing you can do about it.
In the past I used to engage with them, but IME it always seems like they’re stuck on their ways and it is not a productive conversation. It quickly becomes a “who is right” type of conversation and I don’t care for that.
I will reply with additional information (and additional links to my company’s articles) if it benefits the purpose of me posting in that community… :smile:
[2024-04-03 10:12:10 AM] : I use validating statements like “it sounds like you got this figured out” but my ego hurts a little responding haha. I might try not giving into that behavior in the future. Thanks Ernesto!
[2024-04-03 10:42:14 AM] : There's this line in "Thank you for smoking" movie I really like where the main character is showing his son how to win an argument by making him discuss which ice cream flavour is better. The son says a flavour and then the main character explains how everyone has their own taste and it's important to acknowledge that.
Here's the main bit, paraphrasing, I don't remember the exact quote:
The son says: "But you didn't change my mind" and the father says: "I wasn't changing your mind, I was changing the mind of everyone watching, they all now think I'm right".
That usually helps me to get over my feeling of: "this person doesn't deserve me acknowledging them". I remember that I may be addressing the rude person but I'm actually writing it for all the people silently reading it.
[2024-04-03 02:38:59 PM] : Radan Skorić good analogy. It’s similar to what Ernesto mentioned as well at the end!
[2024-04-03 03:27:31 PM] : 100% agree with the "thank you for smoking" example
[2024-04-03 03:28:07 PM] : > That usually helps me to get over my feeling of: "this person doesn't deserve me acknowledging them". I remember that I may be addressing the rude person but I'm actually writing it for all the people silently reading it.
[2024-04-03 03:28:10 PM] : this is spot on
[2024-04-03 03:29:53 PM] : engaging with haters is typically one of two things:
• a waste of time
• a sport that you treat as practice
this post from Amy focuses a bit more on the "sport" of it, but beyond the tactics of it, I think the key here is to remember that their behavior has NOTHING to do with you.
[2024-04-03 03:30:16 PM] : https://stackingthebricks.com/how-to-deal-with-haters/
[2024-04-05 05:08:01 PM] : I found that reddit is a very strange community. There’s so much negativity, I still don’t know if it’s a great place for promotion and engagement or not
[2024-04-05 05:37:28 PM] : Remember that Reddit isn't one thing!
[2024-04-05 07:26:30 PM] : you mean that different communities in Reddit behave different or there’s multiple places besides reddit?
[2024-04-05 07:27:32 PM] : I meant the former!
[2024-04-05 07:27:57 PM] : yeah for sure, But I still try to experiment there as well
[2024-04-05 07:29:51 PM] : Most public communities have a degree of hater behavior in them. Reddit often seems concentrated negative, but to the previous threads point, the people commenting often represent a very small slice of population. It can be very valuable through the lens above, creating/participating for the people watching instead of the people being shitty.
[2024-04-06 01:42:51 AM] : FWIW I’ve not yet experienced anything like that in Reddit’s Ruby communities. I’m hoping it’s not accidental as being nice is sometimes promoted as a value in Ruby communities. :sweat_smile:
[2024-04-06 02:19:01 AM] : Ruby communities are one of the nicest on the planet. I def think its because it's ingrained in how the language was written. And it's the only language that I've tried out that gives more of a service to you.
[2024-04-06 02:26:45 AM] : There’s also the oft repeated MINTWAN acronym: Matz is nice therefore we are nice. (Matz being the creator of Ruby) :)