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I run arch with ufw, i just want to let my friend have acces to a selfhost minecraft server
i also have tailscale setup but i don't think that matter

Is your friend also running tunnel on their pc also?
no
thats why
tailscale is down right now, i told that because that the only thing that i have change in my network
and even with tailscale down, port 25565 open on my pc and on my box i can't connect to my server with my ip or my domain name
if your running a minecraft server through CF tunnels everyone who connects needs to connect their pc to the tunnel.
ok but first, the route is still not here x)
and second, how can i make my friend join without doing anything on their side ?
because even opening my box port doesn't work, that why i try it on CF
I mean this isn't really the place for port forwarding help.
but i don't even know if the issue come from CF or port forwarding
well if your wanting to do it with CF tunnels you need to do the port exposing in the tunnel config not on the website. If you don't want to use tunnel since you said you don't want your friend setting on tunel on their pc you need to port forward.
ok thx