How do you know? - Topic of the day 2/7/24
Not all advice is created equal. How do you tell the good advice from the bad advice (which may be given in earnest)? What should you look out for and how should you respond in the moment?
137 Replies
Level of confidence. Anyone talking like their opinion is an absolute is generally living on the top of mount stupid.
If I dont agree with it, it is bad advice.
Yeah...if they are honest, they will qualify the advice with "this is what my experience has been", and/or "this is what I personally like"
Yep, some degree of qualification that "generally it's accepted" or "depending on what you're trying to do" etc. speaks to a breadth of knowledge and some perspective that it doesn't apply universally.
It also helps credibility a lot if they post fit pics, so I can see how they dress.
We also want to hear feedback from the community how this should be dealt with from a moderation standpoint. Is it worth having roles for trusted advice givers? Specific emotes to represent agreeing / disagreeing with given advice?
:post: :fit:
100% depends on how they dress for me
if i like them they're right and when they're wrong i don't like them anymore
I think the idea of "trusted advice giver" would be most useful for newcomers who are asking "i need a suit for a wedding", and the other regular questions. In that case, would the badge help them? I don't think the badge helps me. I already know I can trust your advice on buying tweed jackets on eBay. š
If i get advice from someone i dont know i check their waywts lol
Thats the only way to tell tbh
Yeah, and a newcomer won't necessarily know to do that.
even people who dress well can't always reverse engineer and figure out why they do things that come naturally to them
I think a "trusted advice giver" badge would only be helpful if it were obvious to someone new to discord, or new to MFA.
it's difficult because someone may know a lot about suits, boots, etc, but they may not know things outside of their niche
Ultimately, I feel that taking bad advice is ones own fault... if you actually care enough to do the searching and contextualization you can usually be level about where the advice is coming from and how good it is. People looking for a simple answer "does this look good" really just want to feel confident without engaging further
it does tickle me to see people who are constantly posting in styling suggestions/questions and advice doling out advice though haha
Not that the community should not foster good advice
yeah there's no universal GOAT advice giver, ppl have their niches
yeah, a "trusted" advice giver implies they know what they don't know, and don't offer advice outside their expertise.
I should get the GOAT advice giver badge
weeg i need help styling my new dress pls help
i think the community does need to self police, but I also need to see fits if I don't know you
My mom has confused me for Weeg, I think I can help here. Kiss heels.
My 3 part decision making process:
1. Does said advice giver post fits within the style I am looking for advice for
And/or
2. Do I like said persons fits
And/or
3. Does said advice generally track with my unconscious understanding of said topic (what does my tummy say)
Advice from givers who do not post fits is disregarded, unless itās a compliment in which case thank you. This applies to pretty much everything tbh.
Pray about it for 5 days and 5 nights then put that shit on and swag it out
I wholeheartedly endorse this approach
okay maybe you are the GOAT
I think there is a lot of eagerness to give advice because people want to be helpful, but those giving advice don't always really know what they're talking about. If you've hung around the community for months and know those people then you'd know not to take that advice to heart, but if you're new to the community and someone confidently gives you an answer (and there's no pushback from the community on their advice) then you're probably likely to believe it
(I am guilty of being too eager to give advice especially on r/mfa about a year ago)
Some kind of trusted source badge would also be useful validation your opinion isn't bullshit
we've been down this road lol
Something I feel that happens is sometimes people ask questions that are just poorly phrased or unanswerable or whatever, and so the only advice they receive is bad advice. Sometimes they just take it, and sometimes others in the community call out the advice as being bad, but its still the only advice given.
idt it's useful
it just creates a weird power dynamic
yeah, it would require knowledge in the first place of the significance of the badge or the new users reading some kind of faq
Agreed, I don't like the badges idea
This is the problem that I think is more prevalent
at best we could make "good advice" and "bad advice" emojis so we can flame war more effectively
"Looking for quality ___" will get u a dozen different answers and kickstart a tiny debate
badges ultimately become about clout and status unfortunately
could you automate the bot to delete comments with too many bad advice emojis
Whoops that's me š
I think advice I've given has gotten overall better over time but I should also be more careful about giving advice. I do try to qualify heavily most of my advice
so the new users don't need to understand the context
It's just a mess all around. How do you decide as a community that someone gives "good advice"? Is all of the advice they give good? (definitely not, but the badge is always there). How do you decide to un-badge people?
"good advice" and "bad advice" is a good idea imo
just don't give advice if you don't know
please
its hard i know
im guilty of it
We're recreating upvotes and downvotes
the only good thing on reddit was downvoting bad advice into oblivion would hide it
We already sortve have emotes for disagreeing and agreeing but good/bad advice would be mildly more helpful
I don't really think there's a good community method to weed out good and bad advice and I think that's largely a good thing
They're just clothes
Someone takes some bad advice and bricks a bit. oh nooooooo
worse than death
cant build a house without a few bricks
It's also invaluable experience for the person receiving advice. Asking better questions, making mistakes, and doing more personal leg work is better
I mean most of the people asking q's are just going to go do what they were going to do anyway
Most questions from beginners are just bad and that's expected. Any question that includes words like "basic", "quality", any dress-code terms (semi-formal, business casual, etc.), "best" (the worst), etc. are just going to be poor questions.
I'm new enough to fashion if they have a regular role on id automatically regard their opinion as worthwhile and ignore the non regs
š
Big mistake, I have no idea what I'm talking about.
The issue is probably that emotes on discord aren't anonymous. So people will be less inclined to react that advice is bad in a lot of cases.
there's a little bit of practice makes perfect and in a way advice is practice
Personally I just don't say shit unless it's like a very low level opinion im confident about
I'm a strong believer in doing the personal work: look at clothes, pay attention to what you are wearing and what others are wearing. Find accounts in IG. Create a Pinterest board or an inspo album of saved pics. Actually wear and look at clothes.
Most beginners have a question they want answered and so they go to #general-chat and then to #questions-and-advice when they should go to #waywt for like a week and then #styling-suggestions
But a lot of people overrate their own opinions
i will shit on you publically don't worry
yeh but you are the server asshole, it's to be expected
He has a quota to meet
Just like any community, spend enough time and you'll just know who the good advice givers/experts are, so that's not an issue. One off question askers aren't going to care where the advice comes from, imo.
obviously this is true but i think for a solid 50%+ this is missing the point a bit
as someone who ignores all the terrible questions cause i can't be bothered though lol
For me good advice givers post fit and don't answer questions they don't know the answer to
And ask questions themselves!
I guess my point is that almost all advice isn't actually bad bc the person asking for advice hasn't done the pre-work to decide what is or isn't good advice *(for beginners/newbies)
I'll note I don't care if someone giving me advice dresses like me, I care if they can see the vision
yeah for sure. I still gotta see the fits personally, but it doesn't have to be my style. I just need to know if they're bricks or not
shoutout to my old vags (valued advice givers)
and big cocs (consistent contributors or w/e)
I would never say it to his face
but @bishopcorrigan is the model for giving advice imo
I really admire how he's able to boil things down consisely and in a way that's easy to understand
š«” pretending I donāt see it
:ipretendidonotseeit:
I feel like Discord has been far better for advice because it comes from lots of different people - my problem with the subreddit was that it ended up with a very very small selection of advice givers. I donāt think we should move towards anything which makes that scenario likelier tbh
This place really is my outlet for boiling down concepts that I think about randomly through the day
it's hard for me to give advice outside of my specific lane because most of my advice stems from 'well this is how I would do it'
So Iām glad it helps people occasionally
This point is absolutely a major reason why I will not answer some things
Like sometimes a question just doesnāt have enough info for me to see where theyāre trying to go
This is me not giving any tailoring advice unless itās super basic
And understanding someoneās aims is crucial to giving good advice
Maybe more literal use of the š and ā emojis would differentiate good advice and bad advice
Where the x means itās really bad not even a matter of opinion
Bc if u just disagree with advice you can say you do
need one of these
And thatās why questions like āwhatās the best blankā will just get discourse and not actual useful info, or if they donāt get discourse, the advice they get is likely to be bad because the question can only be answered based on arbitrary things that the advice giver assumes
+1 most of the time the premise of the questions are so bad
This is where good/bad advice emojis break down
it's why I like discord better
it's not my fault I give bad advice, it's your fault for asking bad questions
if you disagree you gotta actually say why and everyone learns
Lowkey true if you ask a bad question to a big group, you can create a scenario that basically self selects bad advice without even knowing
If itās bad enough I just say āplease donāt do that, and recommend the oppositeā
this is good in theory but I feel like it can get very convoluted in busy threads due to the lack of forum-style organization in discord
āHow do I use my waist measurement to bring out my anterior tiltā
it's not a perfect system, but I think it's better bc reddit v clearly showed that people can't differentiate between "I disagree" and actually bad advice so you just end up with a hivemind that has a lot of inertia
also whether something is or isn't bad advice is v dependent on the vision of the asker
Sure, but I don't want to type a message disagreeing with bad advice from hours ago when there have been tons of messages comprising multiple conversations since the time of the comment I'm replying to
Iāve also decided if I disagree with someoneās advice that is heavily agreed upon Iāll just say it bc thereās always some people that are too afraid to speak out against the popular advice
Thatās why the ā emoji is good when itās not very necessary to expand
I donāt need to explain why wearing flip flops to a wedding is a bad idea etc
I think you overestimate how much people who ask questions will go back and look at that
yeah pros and cons for sure. I think the answer is to be terminally online so you are never out of it
And just discord literacy in general is not necessarily universal
my TL;DR is that I think discord is a better format than reddit since mechanisms like emojis/upvotes/downvotes/flair/badges etc to try and distinguish good vs bad advice are based on a flawed premise.
Almost all threads in #questions-and-advice should instead be fits in #styling-suggestions and that won't be solved by reacts
The main thing I ask when trying to give advice is for someone to post more/better pics
I think "how do I style $item" questions should be banned
Me when I answer a "what do I wear with with this pair of pants" thread
Not a fleshed out thought at all but what about an advice channel that only regs or vetted folks could reply in?
Actually nvm. Bad for a few reasons already
me too
If someone made it past the first round of Fit Battle I will consider their advice. If they did not, then they need to remove the plank in their own eye first.
I do feel kinda bad calling you out because I know you just want to help
No worries
I think I know better now what I don't know
I learned several things by giving bad advice and getting corrected lol
proud member of the told to lurk moar brigade
I at least know enough to tell people to wear Stan Smiths, not Ecco. š
Speaking of which, I have like 5 pairs of Eccos for sale. Make me an offer!
Honestly man I'd stop telling people to get Stan Smiths
enforcing groupthink is pretty bad actually, and upvote/downvote is the worst part of reddit.
Downvote away :xd:
What's the point of posting then
You dont have to post fit pics to have discussions. I personally don't want to post fit for several reasons
Sure, but it definitely limits the context from where you're coming from in terms of day-to-day wearing of clothing, which is what the majority of the server is dedicated to discussing
if it helps I wouldn't listen to you even if you did post fit
probably the best option honestly
Understandable, and I'm fine with that.
I feel this- I wear suits and ties and have been doing so for over a decade. Prep/ivy is like learning a new language.
maybe the question should be "how do YOU style $item" so it isn't advice per se, but more along the lines of seeing how other people do it and getting ideas from that
Lol will do
Don't attack me like that...
I don't think so. Largely because I have a limited wardrobe... It's what I've already got. And some of the pieces take a bit of thought to make work, and as someone whose fashion sense isn't highly highly developed... It's really nice to be able to tap into the fashion hive mind for certain things.
This is the way(?)
I think what beans was getting at with that point is that a question thatās just a picture of an item asking how to style it is so vague as to lead no where useful, versus adding more info with outfits or inspo
I just feel like I learn orders of magnitude more by trying to put on some fit and posting it. Plus there are a million ways to style basically any item. It's why you gotta :post: :fit:
also what bishop said
how do i style X post with just item: bad
how do i style X post with you wearing the item: good
Oh yeah that makes total sense.
also if we don't know your style its super useless
Me trying not to say "clothes" when someone posts "what do I wear with these? and a product picture"
I...
I have the urge sometimes to just take the piss in threads like that ngl
I'm memeing here but it's obviously not helpful to do that. I v much admire folks like GSH, Bishop, and many others that have more patience and kindness than me to answer questions and help folks out
Itās real easy to be rude, itās actual work to be helpful.
Like this shit is not helpful
https://discord.com/channels/1116793467654381685/1204908054668378153/1204908801887572008
Recommending Brycelands is not helpful to the wallet but stylistically I canāt say itās wrong
Nah it was just flat out unhelpful. Someone deciding between $10 Temu and $80 BR sweaters is not looking at +$300 sweaters. It's definitely a cool sweater, but I was being unhelpful, mean, and snarky
At least you are owning up to it
As a fashion beginner, Iām not actually sure I can tell good advice from bad, beyond some baseline. I think that, as some people have mentioned, you can tell what advice youāre likely to agree with judging by their waywt photos, if they have any.
Also as someone else has mentioned, bishop is clearly the best advice giver lol
Anyone who acts like there's one "right" answer to an obviously subjective topic and responds with righteous indignation to any sort of disagreement is probably not a good source of advice
When it comes to actually getting good general advice though as a starting point I generally aim for finding areas of consensus across a wide range of perspectives, for instance maybe searching the same basic question across online fashion magazines, Youtube content creators and Reddit. Just going exclusively by one general community can be kind of hit or miss
tbh I think this community is a more valuable source for advice than a magazine or youtube content creator because of how many different voices and perspectives you get here. Not to mention the fact that no one here has any sponsorships they're wanting to push. I think magazines/content creators/etc are great resources for inspo but I wouldn't necessarily look to them for advice
but anyway for great basic sneakers head to vans.com and be sure to use code artvan69420 at checkout for 15% off
FWIW I understand why people donāt like the āwhat can I wear with X Itemā threads, but I do find them incredibly useful for inspiration - even if it may not match up with an individual style/wardrobe
Just hearing how other people would style an item is very helpful.
if someone wants to know if a specific outfit āworksā then thatās a slightly different q. Obviously more information is better, but I'm not sure someone asking how others may style a specific item is particularly egregious.
this would've been rather helpful a couple of days ago :nooooo:
i think the issue sometimes is the person asking "what can i wear with [x]" is maybe not well versed enough in translating inspiration to their own lives to use references like this effectively.