He was integral part of me growing up, and he died two days ago and I couldn't take it, now I am on

He was integral part of me growing up, and he died two days ago and I couldn't take it, now I am on antidepressants and morphine.

He is probably the only reason I was able to get a wife and a kid in this part of my life, he didn't let autism define me, so him dying was like a part of me dying.
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