Aesthetic vs Costume - Topic of the day 12/2/25
Do you ever fear playing too much into an aesthetic, such that it begins to feel like a costume? This might be an established cultural archetype, think cowboy or goth, or perhaps you feel too much pressure to dress like an image you have of yourself. Can one ever yeehaw a little too hard? Is all the world a stage, and we're always wearing a costume anyway? Or is the most common form of despair not being who you are?
87 Replies
No opinion on this but the cook the thief his wife and her lover is a banger movie
Helen mirren is wearing Jean Paul Gaultier in this shot just throwing that out there
Sometimes how you feel in your clothes is more important than how you look, and if your clothes make you feel lame/fake/anxious then change your clothes dog
I think it’s sick to see someone with a real point of view. It’s so easy to be into everything so when I see somebody kinda go in on one particular niche it’s refreshing
Authenticity and comfort definitely play a big role. Sometimes though you just have to push through discomfort, wear something you aspire to rather than were born to and grow into it.
just matters which matches your goals for the fit honestly
cosplay is an extreme example but the goal isnt to mimick a realistic fit or look in those so its not subject to the same rules and expectations as pulling a fit off
at the same time if costumey looks are what make u feel comfortable/happy in, go for it
This is a really nice way to put it. I can wear the same clothes as usual but because I'm feeling a bit self conscious it feels like a costume. Just being patient with myself and ignoring that voice is always the solution
Default mens fashion is so incredibly boring that everyone who gets into the hobby has this thought at some point
I think caveat on this though is that I do love less when I see someone kinda “wearing tbe lookbook” of a particular brand
I think I’ve definitely felt like this when leaning heavily into more vintage inspired western/cowboy/70s looks - especially with hats. My way around this since then has been incorporating elements of these styles rather than full on
Idk why that feels different would be curious to hear other thoughts
maybe because they're not doing any styling themselves, like if they're wearing a full designer fit esp from the same season all the works been done for you
Ur probably right it’s not any more nuanced than that. I wonder if u could make the argument that like rocking a real cowboy ass fit or sumthn is just letting history do the work for u instead of one designer
Idk if I believe that even but it’s kinda interesting thread to tug
I agree with this so wholeheartedly it HURTS. I think when you lean masc in fashion you end up going one of two routes:
1. Basic Boss but so focused on details that other style heads get it, or ...
2. Almost costumey niche looks that are extra because you're willing to go there.
Breaking that binary and having fun with other options is awesome if you're into it, but I think both those options can be satisfying and deep if they meet your personal feels?
But yeah, at this point, I'm looking at getting dressed as combination self-care and joyous play, so I've stopped taking myself seriously and have opened up what I'm willing to wear - whether outside my previous sense of comfort zone because it's wild and unique or "costumey," if it's FUN and I grin when I put it on, I'ma DO IT.
Apropos of this, saw a dude rocking bell bottoms, checked shirt, that big poofy newsie hat, a tight denim trucker, a neckerchief, nice chelseas and a ton of rings. Was it costumey? I dunno - kind of? But it rocked, and I told him so.
I think things only end up looking costumey if you're sort of uncertain in them, or look like you're doing it on a dare. When you're heavy in, you're gonna do it right.
i do think there's a little nuance based on the specific inspiration; stuff like westernwear and workwear have enough context from actual people/lifestyles that their lives aren't as curated (?) as what would typically be presented in a lookbook
vs stuff like darkwear or certain forms of punk and the like where there's no real world context (or at least one that people know really well) for people to compare it to
There's movie aesthetics, tho. Like I saw a whole album of "jedi-core" fits and lowkey, they rocked - if only because there was a "fake world context" for the aesthetic that worked for my brain?
Like Matrix created (or cemented) a whooooole emo (not sure if this is the right term!) sub-niche ...
hey its almost 2026 the whole world is fake
no worries
both have their qualms - if you're copying a RRL look wholesale but aren't a rancher somewhere you may get criticized for being inauthentic before costumey, whereas if you're wearing all yyph you may be labeled as cosplaying or something
So there's the rub tho, yeah? Like ... is the concern one about outside perception (real worry if you're going hard for something specific and unique, but also limiting in a dopey way) or about "authenticity" (which seems like it's own silly rabbit hole - what's an "authentic" outfit for a person that works at a desk, other than ... sweats?).
The architect on here writing a blog made a context argument that might be useful ...
Resisting urge to spam more to read what you're typing, Zeo! 😅
I don't know if this contributes to the conversation at all but a part of what can make a fit seem costumey is if it's all brand new or immaculately presented. Authenticity can be simulated with vintage pieces that are already beat to shit.
regarding the main topic, the answer is yes but part of living is swallowing that fear of social discomfort or rejection if possible. in the past i dealt with addiction, and in sobriety one of the biggest hurdles is figuring out how to living authentically without your chosen substance despite the fear of rejection or the worry that you're a fundamentally flawed being. someone said "be a badass, do it anyway" and that's stuck with me for everything, including clothes.
if you think your fit is costumey, there's a part of you which had that though but another part of you that thought "this is the costume for today". it's worth taking an honest look at what inspires you and how to implement but it's also worth saying "this is what inspires me", independent of what other people may think
100% agree on doing things that you love and embracing the fear. I think there is an art to how you rock things that is a complex bit, tho? Like some people can dress in the way they want and regardless of context look awesome - if they stand out, it's cause they clearly are just as unique and incredible as their fit. That has to be some combination of confidence (do it scared!) and polish (the small bits that count, which you only develop over time doing it scared!).
You're presenting a thing rather than embodying it, yeah. This stuff gets philosophical fast.
The context thing that architect mentioned was another take that seemed relevant to the question of "costumey" - thought I'd include it cause it felt useful?
But then again, example 1 might look dope if the person in question just owned it right?
Sorry, dunno if that derailed things. Feel like @notkevin 's look today in WAYWT nailed "sailor aesthetic" while completely avoiding "sailor costume," and wonder if debating the specifics of WHY might help?
Malti dresses really good but I don't know if I agree with that take, especially since at the end he says there's a difference between "intentional juxtaposition and looking oblivious". How can you tell without knowing the person?
Totally fair
Every one of these threads always boils down to. Some people dress really out there but those are their clothes and what they feel comfy wearing. Ethan for example, I think would look out of place in a lot of contexts. But I don't think you could say he's wearing a costume.
this should be the automod reply for every single q&a thread
Yeah, I think what's interesting is that sliver of "je ne sais quois" that makes stuff work. Call it swag or whatever - some people seem to DO it, and figuring out HOW is the million-dollar question.
Just "you got it or you don't" feels disappointing, even if it's ultimately the case! 😅
You may look best when you dress to your true nature, when your identity gels with whatever you are wearing. There's discovery and growing pains in that process like when you're growing your hair or beard out and it temporarily looks like shit. You'll never find the borders if you don't do some exploration and that might be an awkward or painful process. There's no math to when you should stop exploring though, everyone has to figure that out for themselves.
ill be honest I hate that sticker
however, understanding swag is a learned trait makes me understand
i think
its a mix of confidence and coherence for me
the "clothes are a social language" of it all
I think true swag is the confidence in just "wearing it"
there are very confident people out there wearing bricked fits
If you have decided to join a forum like this, you're probably doing a bit of Kung Fu. Style Kung Fu. There's intention in everything you're doing relating to dressing yourself. Some kung fu looks like drunken master, other looks like Crane stance
This made me happy and is 100% accurate, I think.
"Snake in the shadow of Eagle's Claw" for me, tho. Or ... or maybe the Master of the Flying Guillotine style ...
Hashtag GOALS ...
I'll expand on this a bit-
I learned this as I got into gong fu tea brewing. You're taking the effort to study your leaves, heat the water to a carefully measured temperature, very quick brew time, and an artistic serving style. The art is the process, just like the art of dressing yourself is selecting pieces to go together.
I've always interpreted kung fu as "practiced intentionality" like the root terms. Merit master. You can master anything, you can be a kung fu pencil sharpener, a kung fu shoe tier, so on and so forth. We are practicing fashion kung fu every day. We may not like the style other practitioners use but we respect it because it works for them.
One might not like fish sauce in their banana bread just like one might not like shorts with boots.
feel like this discussion applies to any art
I think I went too meta
man i do the same thing when i have 2 hobbies, come up with all sorts of ways to force philosophical connections between them
Am I sleeping on fish sauce as a secret banana bread ingredient 🤔
Idk, I haven't tried it but I fear it
Me when I discover 38 different hobbies and try to bridge between them
I mean, there was a ton of Tokugawa era stuff around similar ideas. Anything is zen if you do it with intention. You can be a zen master whether you're pouring tea or folding laundry or ANYTHING, really - what matters is intentionality and investment and focus on the details: pursuing whatever it is as an art AND a craft.
ok i deleted my message before but we have for sure lost the plot
Oh gosh me. Special interests rule my world. I literally built a job out of doing two of them at once that, on paper, most folks don't associate.
Okay, lemme loop it back: when someone has pursued the details of style in a way that is truly invested in the art/craft of the thing, EVEN if the fit might otherwise be considered "costumey," the attention to detail and aesthetic nuance of the way they do it will come through and prevent it from messaging as costumey.
In effect: zen masters always look good.
Michael you're so good at this it's scary
Thank you! I DO teach writing for a living ... 😁
But to kids, and fiction, but hey, I got HOBBIES!
But and also, the idea of the Tokugawa era zen stuff was always the cultivation of merit - perfection of self through an art/craft. So VERY much what you were expressing about tea and gong fu!
As a Chinese person I have never once thought of or applied kung fu philosophy to clothes
if that's what clicks for you that's great but I'm having a hard time seeing how this improves the conversation vs. obfuscating it
Eek. Apologies. FWIW, I mentioned the Tokugawa stuff cause I'm a nerd with an MA in Japanese who spent a lotta time translating 500 year old short stories back in the day.
imo the discussion around confidence is side-stepping the actual practice that sets apart the people who are really putting shit on, and that's commitment.
Committing to a concept or idea fully and without taking measures to mitigate risk of being seen as a fucking dork is the root of all of this.
So achieving zen in what they're wearing? 😇
no
No worries, I'm not offended I just feel like it's complicating the topic
who got lees ig page
I cant be doing tbis shit without visuals
So what simplifies it?
I thought it was already simple
Was it not
people process things different ways w/e
Lee is like, the fucking founding stone of committing without holding back. Everything they put on looks incredible because they have a vision and they execute
I know theyve written some interesting thoughts on this topic but I can't remember them
Like can it feel costumey? Idk maybe. They hit all sorts of different notes in different styles and to me it feels authentic.
I think conversations like these tend to dissolve into "its confidence" but I really feel like thats missing the point almost entirely.
costumey but in a good way
I do know they've said their approach is inspired by film costume design and that their approach to some fits is building a character and telling a story.
i feel like I saw someone, maybe their blog, specific thoughts on this over the top costume oriented approach, ill scout it out
Yeah exactly like, I think theres this fear that permeates in men's fashion, of being labeled costumey or try hard or whatever and it really stunts creativity and encourages mid ass recreations of the same shit
Not for me? I mean, we can tell if somebody "does it" or doesn't, "has it" or not, but the why of it is the piece that's complicated, for me. I agree with Carrion that you have to DO it to develop it, but the question of what "it" is is nuanced and complicated.
Not for me? I mean, we can tell if somebody "does it" or doesn't, "has it" or not, but the why of it is the piece that's complicated, for me. I agree with Carrion that you have to DO it to develop it, but the question of what "it" is is nuanced and complicated.
I think that's what i meant by coherence earlier, or authenticity or whatever you want to call it. Are you actually expressing your own point of view or are you just mimicking something without fully understanding it
of course mimicking is often part of the journey to discovering your own voice
I dunno what authenticity is - that term is weird to me (I think it gets used a lot of weird ways and carries baggage for me as a result?). I think there's a skill element, and an artistic eye, and doing your OWN take on things is the end piece - like any art, you start with the basics, develop to finding the stuff you personally dig, then work up to something uniquely you.
This!
the best dressed people I know have explored a huge range of styles and settled somewhere. And so if you ask them how they're so stylish they're like idk this just feels like me, which is obviously unhelpful to someone new
this is why i hate the swag sticker
but someone who feels authentic in full gap probably hasn't explored much. And that's okay
Back to the question- aesthetic vs costume. For me, it's easy to judge, much harder to create. I find that feeling "fake" or "like a poseur", to call back to a punk aesthetic thing mentioned before, is something that comes with the territory of fashion. Telling people to "put it on" is simple, but accepting it is much tougher. For me, most everything feels like a costume because I know how I "liked" to dress as a kid - cargo shorts and plain t shirts. Anything that isn't that will always feel a bit like a costume for me, it's the process of re-training that gut instinct and doing different things.
When I was in school and had to put on the marching band uniform or the patent leather shoes and tuxedo fit for band, It was a costume that said "I'm a performer." I'm still learning that we can be a performer in our every day world, we're making a choice to express something with our clothes. If we know what that something is, it feels better.
So to answer your question about what is "it". To me it's the ability to pull from different styles, eras, ideas, brands, etc. in unique way.
Thank you
That's what I was seeking
I get that! I think there's an "inside/outside" element to this - you can dress for how you feel inside, but you can also dress to AFFECT how you feel inside. I think if you reach the pinnacle, you can do both - affect your feels by working with your fit or express them with it, either way.
So true wear those noragis white kings ✊🏻
I also think theres a big disconnect between how people use/are using the word authentic.
Like when I think of authenticity, it has nothing to do with the makings of someone's character or what they REALLY do or what they ACTUALLY fuck with or what is real and true to them or whatever. Because how the fuck can i determine that?
For me, its just commitment. Are u committing to wearing those overalls, or are you fretting with them because your soul is weak and impure and you know youre putting on an act?
I like commitment as a replacement for the word. That tracks.
I think I'm with carrion yet again. The ideas of stolen valor and inauthenticity just don't ever ring true to me. It does not take becoming zen to get fits off. You don't need to discover your true self to put that shit on. That's ridiculous.
I think it's part commitment like carrion has said, but also just spending time in the lab and being creative. Play dress up, take pics, then edit. I've been linking Lee's blog everywhere recently but it also includes this rule that I quite like:
Rule 8 Don't try to create an analyse at the same time. They're different processes.So many folks are looking for immediate answers to the universe about which nearly identical qzip is the best. That undeveloped eye and taste leads to being noncommittal and scared. Creating and editing are skills that you have to develop on their own. To try and bring it home, I suppose a failure in either can be perceived as "inauthentic" but it's truly impossible to wax on about what undefined other people are going to think about any given fit.
beans u hit smth that resonates so hard with me re: creativity. A huge part of this that tends to get overlooked by newbies is the fit pic.
Spending time learning poses you fw, staging your backgrounds, editing your photos, etc etc etc all helps to develop the Putting Shit On muscles in your brain and it can have a tangible effect on developing style.
It does not take becoming zen to get fits off. You don't need to discover your true self to put that shit on. That's ridiculous.yeah. learning how to put that shit on often comes with discovering your true self
That was my point, yup - the idea was you discovered it as you fell into your art/craft.
There’s a time and place for certain outfits
Depends who you are as a person though, and how much you care about the immediate community you’re in
Small country that you want to live in long term? Everyone knows each other and silently judges? I’d be a bit more careful. Not conformist - I hate looking like everyone else and like the extra attention - but you need to do it with some nuance
Big metropolitan city? You can dress whatever, whenever. A city this big makes you anonymous. Mess up? Try again the next day since nobody will remember you. This is the freedom that big cities give (not to mention all the different physical contexts that simply don’t exist in small towns)
When I wrote that piece I had the former context in mind as that is my reality. Also my friend’s experiences - a lot of them who were heavy into Haider sold most of it because they lived in predominantly rainy, northern countries. They finally accepted that their context does not allow for that type of silk heavy wardrobe
Social contexts are very important too. You’re invited to someone’s birthday party, you know they all dress relatively normal/safe, and you pull up in an exquisite crushed velvet suit? You don’t look good, you just come off as a dick. Let them have their moment, it’s a celebration of their day not your ego
Yeah those are fair points and I agree social contexts are important!